Oh sigh.

I stood outside with the bright yellow street lights blinding me. Was kinda drizzling. I stared into the dark driveway that was my house. Walked in slowly.

As I open the door, I was greeted by dark lights and the only thing that was lit was a white Christmas tree. No more brothers screaming the shit outta each other. Mum watching her Chinese drama. Dad walking around in his boxers.


I felt.. Emptiness. The feeling of doing things myself. Being independent. I dont want to anymore. I miss everyone.

I called out to my mum. She asked me what time was work tmrw. I told her and she told me that she was really tired and went to sleep.


I don't know but I just kinda, feel that I should appreciate what I have now. Nothing really lasts forever. I know one day, I'll be walking into a home alone. Dark and unlit. Lonely and quiet.


No more home cooked meals. No more LAN gaming. No more nagging mum. No more chores to do.


Just come home. Sleep. Wake up. Work. Come home. Sleep. Its like a never ending cycle of loneliness *sniff*


I'm so gonna appreciate next year more.


*Listening to Only Hope*


-J

Its been awhile.

I have the playhouse Disney theme song in my head now. No, I'm serious.


I love my job!

For those who don't talk to me (you basterds) or don't read my updates will won't know that I've been working for the Disney Hoopla event at 1 Utama. Old wing.


Well, the first day was extremely tiring. I mean, there was well over 300 kids! and we worked from 8 till like 12. but it was really fun! My collegue and I were in charge of the one of the game booths that involved puzzles and Mickey Mouse's Clubhouse. We're supposed to make the kids say the magic word that makes MM'sC appear.

Which is like Meeska, Musska, Mickey Mouse. Yeah. Sounds kinda weird. But its very funny when you actually say it! and I get to wear Mickey ears! LOL

See this involves kids that are 3 to 10. But there are parents that bring the younger ones in to! So its kinda hard to make them say the magic word. So the universal language is the..

*dramatic music*


High 5. yeah, I'm serious! It works! talking about that, there was this really tiny 2 year old girl who could barely walk or talk. I bend down and asked her for a high 5. Guess what, She walked over and kissed my collegue and me on the cheek. IT WAS SO ADORABLE OKAY.

IMMD.


But there are also the downsides that come with working here. I'm not gonna sound like some whining kid but honestly, some parents should really be less kiasu. There was this one lady that came to me and said the word "free gift" 6 times. All asking for it. T_T

Also there was this 8 year old kid. Shes so annoying. She came since the first day! She comes around everyday and annoys the living daylights outta you! Alot of people get really annoyed. I started ignoring her. lol

Oh and another thing are the parents that DO NOT understand what they dont get about barriers. Let me ask you, If you see barriers enclosing an area what does that tell you?

"Your not supposed to be there!"

Well duh!

And then these people just put their kids on stage and act as if the barrier isn't there! There was this guy who really pissed me to the max. Here's what happened

He's kid was on stage so I kindly and politely told him that he's kid's not supposed to be there and he said. "Why not? You afraid the stage might break is it?"

I said with a straight face "No sir, I'm afraid its closed already so he can't be there."

Then he said "Oh, Okay. You tell him that."

I did. And got him off. I was so pissed off weih.

Anyway, on this job is really where I depended on my talking skills. I'm also working for the photography and registration department so I had to transverse in many languages. Including mandarin. Which failed. Miserably. But I tried okay.

And taking and editing pictures is tough work when you have people constantly breathing down your necks for the pics. But I still love it. :)

My supervisor is awesome too. Its funny when she gets annoyed when we call her boss. HAHA.

Did I mention we have a working disco ball? awesomeness!

Anyway, This job is really fun! I mean you get to meet great people. Make friends. Do stupid things. Go hyper! Have-Disney-Songs-Stuck-in-Brain, and ultimately the kids do make your day when they smile and said they had a good time!





I still have to update about the Paintball WCA and also L and M's GDO + Justin. xD

-J



For someone:
See, I told you I'll update. :)

Work work work.

I have so much to blog about. I'll find the time eventually. Anyway, I'm gonna leave for work in 15 minutes.

First day was fun! I'll blog more when I have time! Stay tuned!

-J



Justin works at the Old wing at 1 Utama centrecourt at Disney's hoopla event. :)

I miss you guys. No shit.

I missed 3 parties AND a play. Like I miss you guys. So much.

Even though it hasn't been that long. I miss 4k. I miss SMK Taman Melawati. I miss the laughs. I miss the crazy-demented-non stop laughter-funny classmates of mine. Gah I miss everyone.

I agree with Fabs. Everyone IS drifting apart. If after form 4 is this bad. I cant even imagine after we finish high school. Yes. Hasn't anyone realized? We've spent 4 years in this school. Its hard to imagine that its gonna be our last year next year.

Can anyone even imagine. On the first week of January you don't have to wake up at 6 in the morning. You realize. Hey, I'm already 18(technically). Theres no more uniforms to wear. No more hair cutting operations. No more assemblies to ponteng. No more screaming Jannah. No more half an hour basketball matches that happen once a week. No more St. Johns kawad. No more under 17 events. No more disgusting canteen food. No more bringing guitars to school.


SIGH.

This sucks. I am so gonna have to treasure my last year next year.


I don't wanna lose you guys. My best friends in the world. ):

He's more adorable that Justin Bieber.

Russell is so adorable (Yea, as if you guys didn't already know that.). It was so hilarious when I went to the arcade with him yesterday.

First we played Daytona. That racing game thing. It was so funny. The first time he beat me, so I asked for a rematch. The 2nd match when I overtook him he started screaming at me, then he started distracting my by pulling my steering wheel. Then at the last 6 seconds I don't know why but I kinda went sideways and when my brother won he laughed at me.

Yes, a 10 year old laughed at me and said I was a noob.

I got my revenge when we played motoGP. IT WAS SO FUNNY LA! Cause its like the real thing, you have to sit and tilt your body to steer. Since Russell was so tiny he couldn't like tilt properly. So he kept asking me "Gor, how to turn laaaa. ITS NOT WORKING."

I just laughed. And in the end he got off the bike and started pushing and pulling it. Seriously. While he had his hand on the gas he was pushing and pulling. Hahah.


Then we went to play basketball. We beat the high score and got 135. Then suddenly a group of ppl came and tried to beat it. They almost lost when at the last second the managed a 137. So, not to be defeated my brother and I spent our last tokens on it. We were on fire! We got like. 150 smth. So we went somewhere else and sat down.

The same group tried to beat our score again! They tried. They failed. We laughed. Hysterically. Epic.


It was a good day. And Russell got pissed at Taylor Lautner cause I said he's going for Taylor Swift. He LOVES Taylor Swift. Hahaha.


♥ my bro man. :)

-J

What is this love?

Gosh I miss that feeling. That butterflies. I had it earlier this year. I think? But right now I cant differentiate infatuated love and real love. Its true. I feel as if my whole hormone system went numb. Its just like, stoning.

Cause I like many people and I do flirt. But the thing is. I really don't know. How love really is? How is it supposed to feel like. I wish someone would just tell me. I really wanna stop searching for an answer.

I know, your probably thinking that why am I in a rush. But the truth is. I'm more into finding out how it feels like. Honestly. I kinda miss it.

But theres more to romantic love, there's passionate love, religious love, compassionate love, etc.

:( Sigh. Have no idea what I'm talking abt. Someone tell me.

Fate or Destiny?

Leaning against the window, he glanced out against the distant horizon. It was 4 in the morning. He couldnt sleep. The only thing that was on his mind was Her. All he could do was think. Think about the memories they shared.

Tears started trickling down his face. The pain was hard to bear. It wasn't just him but everyone close to her felt that intense feeling of remorse. But to him, it hit him the hardest.

He started to recall the first day she transferred to his school. She looked adorable but utterly clueless. But there was something about her that made him go nuts. Something, he couldnt really understand. Not yet anyway.

He, being his usual friendly self greeted her. She smiled shyly as a sign of acknowledgment blushing, slightly. From that day on, they we're to be best friends.

They did everything together. They shared laughs and smiles. They shared everything with each other. They spent their childhood together. They grew up together. Even though they both knew everything about each other, there was one thing that he never told her. For you see, from the moment he set his eyes upon her, he was in love with her.

He knew from the bottom of his heart that she was the one for him ,yet not wanting to jeopardize their relationship, he never told her. She on the other hand, was hoping that he might tell her.

As years went on, she was different. No longer was she that girl with the pony tails that use to cry when she fell down. She matured into a beautiful young woman. He's feelings for her grew even more yet he tried his best not to think about it. He thought that it could never work out.


On one faithful day, he brought her up to the hill overlooking their neighborhood. They sat there together thinking of how long they've knew each other. They remembered all the times they spent their days together. They sat there together watching as the sun set.


It was a beautiful night that night, the stars were shining brightly and the moon lit their surroundings. He thought to himself how beautiful she was under the moonlight. He really wanted to tell her at that time, just how he felt. But just as he was about to she got a call.
It was from her parents and she needed to get home. He brought her back home without telling her. Just as she was about to leave the car, she gave him a gentle kiss goodbye.


She called him a few days later to meet up. It was raining heavily so she came over to his house and the hanged out. The talked and talked for hours. He didnt know what was going to happen.
After awhile, she left. She hugged him with tears flowing in her eyes. He asked why. But she just smiled and left.

She was absent from school for the next few days. He got worried and called up her cell. No answer. Suddenly, he received a call. He got word that she had died from cancer. He just froze. He couldnt control the sudden emotion that overwhelmed him. He just fell down to his knees. Tearing uncontrollably.

He went home. In tears. Thinking to himself. If only he had told her sooner. Then as he reached into one of his jacket pockets he found a note. Apparently she left it there for him when she hugged him. It wrote..

Since you are reading this I think you would have already known. I wish I could spend more time with you. But I don't have alot of time. I didn't tell you this but when I went for a checkup I found out that I was going to die very soon. The tumor in my brain was at its most potent stage. There was nothing anyone could do. I had just a few months left to live. I wanted so badly to tell you but I couldnt bear the pain.

I'm so sorry.

But I all I really wanted to tell you was that I loved you. So much. I want so much to be with you, to hold you, to keep you warm. But I know I cant. This is probably the last your hear of me. Take care of yourself and remember. I'll always be with you. In our memories and in your heart.


xxx

He couldn't believe what he had just read. He loved her so much, but he didnt tell her. He wished he had. But it was to late. All he could do now was to think of her. He missed her so much.
If only he had said it sooner.




You only start to miss someone when their gone.

-J

NOTE: This is another work of fiction. I like writing. Though i have to improve it. Hope you enjoyed reading it :)

Why do I even bother.

Being a student has got to be the best time of anyone's life but there's really one thing I really dislike doing.

Studying.

Its true when they say that what we don't like are normally good for us.

But its not like we have a choice anyway.

I so regret not really taking form 4 seriously. Kinda slacked off the entire year. So there I was, trying to cram everything in the wee hours of the morning. I stared blankly into sheets of white paper with words such as mitosis and covalent bonds.

Oh, I knew from the start I was screwed.

Okay. All I remembered was that I tried to start at 8. Failed. Played with my brothers. Read magazines. Tried again at 9.30. Failed. Played my guitar and went down to eat. I finally started to study at 11pm. No joke. This went on for almost 3 weeks. This routine.

There was one of those days that I slept for less than 2 hours. from 5am to what, 6.30am? It was physics. And I went to school, BLANK. Epic fail.

I just noticed this.

Yup. Its even spelled that way.

That was the loneliest nights ever in my 16 yo life. Though I would like to thank those people that stayed up with me. You know who you are. ;)

Even though this few weeks felt like hell. It was fun though. Cause everyone else was studying too. Carlos, Netto and I went to McDs to study. We created a mess! And Julian went nuts and wore Fabi's jacket. Wackos.


And where would I be without my music? I love my Pod. :) And Lenny Kravitz. I just love the song I'll Be Waiting. It being the ending song for L: Change the World has nothing to do with it! Okay, actually it does. Still!



Anyway, I knew I was gonna fail for all this last minute work. But then I wanted to at least give an effort. All the stress must have went to my head. I actually brought an icebox filled with caffeine.

Thank God for the AAR concert. I could at least destress. Or at least that's what I thought. Instead of being relaxed I became so stressed out because of Add Maths I had a mental breakdown. So therefore I didnt study at all. My holidays technically started.

All I had now was 3 more days. My little pink thing was accompanying me.



Yups. :) And well, I had someone else with me too. :)

Anyway, in this 3 weeks I really had time to think and find myself.




.. I still havent found what I was looking for but..






A pictures paint a thousand words. Figure it out for yourself.


-J

I'm not perfect. :)

Booyah! Its been ages since I blogged. Theres so much to say and do. Rant and what not. But before that. Let me say a public statement.



I, Justin Choy, am not perfect. I might have this superficial persona that I'm a goody guy but when reality strikes I'm not. Its just that we are brought up in a way to make people believe what they want them to. I think theres a profession for that. I think it called an actor.

Truth be told, more than half of you guys don't know the real me. I'm not always nice you know.

I swear alot.
I am effing mean sometimes.
I do like talking about sick, twisted things.
I do wanna dress with 4 different colours one day.
I do wanna go clubbing and partying.

I'm just 16. I'm a teenager. Its just my time to be wild, crazy and not thinking before I do things. Its my imperfections that make me human.


STOP trying to set things straight for me. Thats why I have parents. And pastors. But what I don't fucking understand is that why you people give a shit when you can't even take care of your own bloody life.


Like seriously man, get a life. Theres a difference between advising me between whats right and wrong to downright telling me how to live my life.

I DO NOT like to be told to do things let alone how to live my life.


So to whoever who has a problem against me. I don't give an F. Seriously.



P.S. Its just something I needed to get out. Not towards anyone. Just I needed to rant. Yes. I know blogs are public and it'll haunt me in the future but hey guess what.


I'm 16. Deal with it.




-J

Of Halloween and Rejects

I told everyone not to be late but I ended up half an hour late. Karma man.


Anyway, the guys and me went for AAR last Saturday! it was Epic!

I went there along with the guys from school and CJ. It was really fun!

We reached there around like. 4.30+? It was scorching I tell you! literally burning! And there was this superfreakin long line. But guess what? Apparently we had friends all the way in front. Sanjeev too! Seems like everyone was a familiar face. Went around all hyper and greeting everyone!

Poked Mei into submission. It took her SO LONG to intro me to her friend. tsk tsk.

Oh then when the gates were open for entry all hell broke loose.

It was like DUKE all over again. All the traffic. All the bastards who pushed and shoved me can go to hell. Seriously. I mean. WAIT YOUR FREAKING TURN LAA. My gosh. It was so retarded la all these with that effed up mindset.

In the end the guys and I manage to get a nice place up front. Well, quite front. Behind Mei Ji and gang. I'm so short it was so sad okay. :(


At first I was really looking forward for this but DiGi screwed it up. BIG TIME. This concert was one of the biggest disappointments ever. Period.

Do you know how many times I listened to Move Along? Like 7 times or something. I cant remember but DiGi's music ad is like etched in my brain stuck on repeat. And that image of that guy who gets carried away. lol.


After waiting for almost a lifetime. Ian and Natalie started talking and introduced the local bands.
It was alrite. But there was another delay. GOSH.

First up was Disagree. Not many people like em but I find their music somewhat entertaining.
The crowd was so negative it was so not cool. The local artistes we're good. Pop Shuvit and the like.

During the song Marabahaya from Pop Shuvit these bunch of boyan rempits kept pushing us like shit. Seriously. Not just pushing but like punching and such. I was this close to hitting on of em. grrr.


ANYWAY, after the local bands there was another long hiatus for like, idk, an hour? The crowd was so restless they started chanting "DiGi sucks!" like over and over again. And I pity Ian and Natalie. They we're the ones that got all the shit from the crowd.


Eventually AAR finally came out. Tyson was being super gay as usual. People who went there should know. It was like he was moaning. But he is kinda cool nonetheless. After a few songs I kinda ditched the guys. Not really. I was super thirsty and like being squashed cause I was so small.

Jon and CJ followed me to get some drinks. But I really ditched them this time. Well, I wanted to meet someone.


I did. And I wished I had stayed longer with her before going back. I didnt know we weren't going home immediately. I would have so hanged longer. :)

Anyway, we bought our tickets right and then all of a sudden ALL of our phones went dead. Rais and me went walking around swearing finding reception. We eventually found a spot that was like 3 x 3ft that seem to have reception.

You could imagine Rais and me standing in that small fragment of land getting reception. Only when my phone was working did I realize that CJ was already AT the station. I was like. "Shit."
Manage to get all the guys. Who were lepaking here and there.


As we were all super high now we all started singing whilst walking to the LRT. It was so funny. We waited for the LRT for so long and everywhere we go Rais seems to know someone. HAHA. He's like Opera man wtc.

The LRT took us all the way back to Chan Sow Lin station where we met with Julian Lee. Who seemed to know Rais too. Like its just freaky. The LRT took another 20 minutes or so to come after the initial stop.

Once we got on it. Rais and Julian L. were playing with the door. Running in and out. A girl got really pissed and scolded Rais. He was like. "Freak." LOL. Anyway,As we were about reach ampang. We stopped. AGAIN. waited for another 10 minutes there.

In the end I reached home at around 1.40am. Was tired as nuts. Showered. Slept. Boy, was it a tiring day.



But it was fun nonetheless, with everyone there. :) Hope theres another concert soon!

-J