As I begin to write this, tears slowly drip down my cheeks. Sometimes I stop and start to wonder, am I really the cause of all this?

Maybe it would be better if I wasn't here. Maybe it'd be better for everyone else had I not been in the picture. I don't know. I believe that everyone was put here by God for a reason. Yet what is mine?

Why is it always my fault? Even when things always seem the opposite? Is it because I'm less fragile? Is it because it's easy to just put the blame on me to mask the actual reality that maybe he couldn't help me?

Have you ever stopped to ponder for a second that maybe I have feelings too, maybe I am human and that I make mistakes too. Maybe you think I want just want to bring everyone down. Maybe you think that we can't get along. But maybe I do have a heart. Maybe I do actually give a shit about how things are.

You think I don't care. Don't you know it hurts me every time you assume I don't. It hurts so much knowing that the people you care so much, always end up getting hurt because of you.
Maybe I don't want to be the reason anymore.

I wouldn't know how much longer can I endure this. I admit, sometimes it is my fault. But why doesn't the other party go through what I do. I don't understand. Behind this smile, lies broken pieces of hope.

Maybe it'd be easier, if I just said I was sorry. I can't do it this time.